When I arrived at the hospital I was a little excited. I was in a mindset that he was doing better. Let me tell you, I was shocked when I walked up to the door and was approached by his nurse. She asked me if he had a living will. I said yes, and she told me I should bring it with me the next time I came for a visit. The doctor told me later on that it was just a precaution - best to have it on file than be unsure of what to do in that situation. Believe it or not, that is the third time in the last four years that I've been told to bring the living will. On the two occasions before this one, a pastor came to visit us in the hospital room unexpectedly - now if that doesn't scare you, I don't know what will!
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Tom looked nothing like I expected. He is still hooked up to all sorts of tubes. He still looks uncomfortable and exhausted. I know in my heart that he is ready to let go whenever his mind allows. He doesn't want to exist in this condition. It is so painful to see him like this. I wish I could help him get to a more comfortable place, whether it be at home by a cozy fire in his slippers, or in a place where we will all reunite one day.
4 comments:
Lisa God is in control, He has never left Tom's side. I could feel His presence in the room. Most especially when you put the earphones to Tom's ears to listen to his favorite music. Did you see Tom's eyes open and the happinesses was shinning? Tom knew the love of his life was by his side. And the lady that sold peanuts. Hang on girlfriend,LOVE is all around you.
Lisa -
I don't think we've met but Tom was an old high school buddy. What a great guy with a huge love for life. It hurts my heart to read your notes and see these pictures of him struggling. I too have been in a similar situation with my spouse & fully realize everything you are going thru. Two things I realized - 1) we don't always understand why God is doing this but in the end we have very little control. Love him and take care of him every day as if it were the last. and 2) You will meet MANY MANY people (patients, families of other patients, doctors, etc...) along this path youre on. Enjoy them when youre able. YOUR GOOD FRIENDS WILL BECOME GREAT FRIENDS AND YOUR GREAT FRIENDS WILL BECOME FAMILY. You need them and they will be there when it matters the most. Please know I will be thinking of you, your daughter and Erin often. Jack Saussy - Waycross.
We all love you. Hang in there.
*Steve
maybe Hospice could help you get him home and more comfortable during this time of transition if he is ready.
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