Two steps forward, one step back.....literally

Well, Christmas is now only five days away. Katie and I have the next 16 days in a row off! This is good not only for a much needed rest, but also to care for Tom. It seems that in the past my time off from work has conveniently coincided with his need for extra care. This is true once again as Tom needs a little more help getting around lately.

He is having so much trouble walking because his feet are numb and sometimes painful. This is a symptom of neuropathy http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/peripheral-neuropathy/DS00131. He has been battling neuropathy for several months and taking medicine for it (Lyrica), but it doesn't seem to be getting any better.

He can not go anywhere unaccompanied for he teeters so badly and falls into walls and shopping carts and parked cars - his cane helps only minimally. I really have to brace him. We do continue to go places though because he wants to get out - especially since he's been given the "go ahead" from his doctor. This is completely understandable to me.

I must say, I get very worried when we are out somewhere and thoughts rush through my mind - This is not a good idea. Why are we doing this? Tom is going to fall. I can't guarantee that I can keep him from falling. I may fall with him. I wish we were at home right now. What is Katie thinking of all this? Does she feel helpless?...

I find people looking at us more. Crooning their necks, double-taking glances, quickly walking past us to hold the door, asking if they can help, asking if Tom is ok, etc. Their reactions confused me at first but eventually I realized that his condition elicites compassion even from strangers.

It will get better. Next year at this time I see him rolling around on the floor with the dogs, karaoking his favorite songs, hanging up Christmas lights, laughing, and sipping Christmas spirits!