Tom and Katie

MRI, CT scans, and EEG showed nothing to be concerned about. Tom's doctor sent him to a neurologist in the hospital this morning who pierced his Omaya Reservoir (the bump on his head), as well as gave him spinal tap - both to collect cerebrospinal fluid in two different places in his spine. He's concerned that there may be new leukemia cells. :-(

While he was having that procedure done he also received chemotherapy in his spine. I called several people trying to get in touch with the doctor because I thought it didn't make sense to give him chemo before confirming that there are, in fact, leukemia cells present. I believe the large quantity of drugs he was on put him in the state he's presently in. Giving him chemo at this time is like kicking a man when he's down. The doctor was in a "meeting" so I talked to the ICU nurse who assured me that this was necessary because of Tom's declining mental capacity, as well as the few choices remaining.

A nurse told me this morning that the ICU department would make an exception for Katie, by allowing her to have a short visit with Tom. Children are usually not permitted in ICU. I haven't yet asked Katie about this. I took her out for breakfast this morning so I could update her on her daddy's situation. This has all happened so fast. We talked about the seriousness and the possible outcomes. I talked about it and she would change the subject, so we'd talk about other things. I would bring the subject up again and she would change the subject, so we would talk about other things. I asked her if it was uncomfortable to talk about this and she said no. I told her that she needs and deserves more than anyone to be aware of everything going on. I feel successful in giving her an honest and gentle account of the current situation.

We decided to do a little shopping before I took her to the Stuarts. Before we got out of the car I told her I was going to go back to the hospital and I asked her if there was anything she wanted me to tell her dad. She sat quietly for several seconds, bit her lip a little, and the tears came. We held each other. Finally, she told me she wanted me to tell him that she loves him.

This has been one of the worst days so far...