This has been a downer day as far as Tom's attitude goes. That's to be understood. He has taken a negative swing lately. He feels that he's at his wit's end. I tell him that he's on day 62 of his 100 day post-transplant period and he's doing very well at the present. He considers that an erroneous way of thinking. He knows from past experience that he could be in the hospital by morning.
One of the kindest nurses at the clinic was preparing Tom for his usual infusion the day before last. She tried to inspire him but he refuted everything she said. She finally told him that she wanted him to say ONE positive thing about the prior day he had off. She said that she would listen to everything else he had to say if he fulfilled her request. He said he was glad to be able to stay at home to self-administer his daily treatment.
I'm trying to keep his spirits up. He's depressed by one particular doctor's comment, who recently told him he wouldn't be able to return to work until late October. He really misses his job. I told him he shouldn't dwell on that doctor's opinion. Think about all the people who constantly prove doctors wrong. Doctors tell people who have had major leg or spine injuries that they will never walk again and will be confined to a wheelchair. Many of these people not only end up walking again but complete marathons. Some doctors tell women they will never conceive a child and many of those women end up having two or three kids. You can't depend on the belief of one single doctor. Doctors are not perfect. What it all boils down to is, although doctors are experts in their respective fields, ultimately they really don't know what the future holds for each patient - they can only offer their educated opinions. Unfortunatly, many patients abandon hope in exchange for a doctor's opinion. Tom can get over this sooner than expected but not until he takes charge and sets his own recovery dates.
We all know what a wonderful man Tom is - he's bound to have his off days. He really is strong in his ability to maintain a positive attitude most of the time. He keeps me strong, that's for sure.
Tomorrow is a clinic day. Lovely.